If you missed it, check out Part 1 in this series here.
First 6 months of the relationship
As with any romantic relationship, the first 6 months of being involved with the TiNe will be really exciting. During this time, your differences will be downplayed and you will both probably try to mirror each other a lot to feel connected. I’m an FeSi, and the first 6 months of dating my (now husband) TiNe was thrilling.
We stayed up for hours talking about everything in our lives. Our hopes, our dreams, our fears—anything we thought of. I had no idea about type theory while we were dating, and neither did he. I thought subconsciously, as most do, that the people I liked were probably mostly like me in their own internal world. During this time of mirroring, I thought I had a smart, squishy, quiet Feeler-type man. He wrote poetic love songs to me, we wrote stories together, and sometimes when we sat next to each other holding hands, we didn’t even need words to express our love. A look between us could melt us both, almost to the point of misty eyes.
This of course, was genuine, but it was likely a result of a lot of subconscious Fe mirroring on his part. His inferior Fe was in overdrive, which fed my dominate Fe. And likewise, I found myself able to talk about and comprehend quite a few theoretical, abstract topics—much more than usual, using my inferior Ti more than usual to be able to enjoy the topics he liked talking about. This mirroring of functions isa completely natural part of a relationship, and doesn’t require much, if any, effort. During this phase, your adrenalin, serotonin, and dopamine (the chemicals that make you feel ‘in love’) are operating at higher levels all the time, and I think this must be at least part of what helps make mirroring so effortless. Although my husband and I have the same functions in the opposite order, we felt alike in a lot of ways during this time. Feeling alike helped us feel connected, which probably fed those ‘love chemicals’ and bonded us to each other.
TiNes aren’t typically talkative around most people they must interact with, but once they let you into their inner world, they will feel quite comfortable sharing their Ti/Ne thought processes. And through your ‘love chemical’ enhanced mirroring skills, you will probably really enjoy listening to and participating in these sessions, even if you aren’t a Thinking-type at all. Enjoy this part of your relationship with your TiNe. It’s really nice, and it won’t last forever. And don’t worry, that’s a good thing! We’ll talk more about that next time.